Texting Conversation Film Study:

Prince-iple #4: Autopilot Texting

 

What is Autopilot Texting?

Relate this strategy to anything in your life that you have done SO MANY TIMES it becomes automatic to you. Let's use the example of driving home from work.

You know how sometimes you'll get into your car, drive to your destination, and not really remember any of the ride you just took? That happens when you no longer need to actually THINK, you can put yourself into 'autopilot' mode and get home without even realizing it.

That is when your brain sort of zones out and works to get you to your destination without you really being aware of it.

That AUTOPILOT mode is something we never want a woman we are texting to slip into.

The main goal when texting a woman is to get her thinking about you and excited enough to want to hangout in person.  When you put her into 'autopilot' mode she is NOT thinking about you.  She is zoning out.  She is not paying attention to you or your conversation.

If a woman is not excited about you or thinking about you, why in the world would she want to keep texting you or hangout with you? Here are some example messages that will put her into AutoPilot:

"Hey", "How are you?", "What's up?", "How was your day?",  etc..

What do these 4 examples have in common? They are texts she has seen from a MILLION other guys. And just like when you are driving home from work, whenever you do something over and over and over again, you start to zone out and go into autopilot.

When you send those types of texts, she immediately zones out and either doesn't respond to you, or she responds with some thoughtless answer because she has seen those same texts over and over and over again.

It ' better to send nothing at all then it is to send a text she has received a million times from other guys.  If you DO send these same boring and generic texts, this will happen to you:

  • Being seen as boring
  • Losing her curiosity & intrigue about you
  • Being seen as a guy with nothing else to do but text (no passions)

 

 

When to avoid Autopilot Texting?

Autopilot Texting should be avoided in any new or beginning relationship. Sure, there is a time and place to ask a girl how she is doing, or what she does for work, or what school she goes to... But women only enter this type of conversation with men that they trust are not boring, needy, or creepy.

Have you ever met a woman who seemed interested in you in person but then you could never get her to text you back? You literally 'texted' your way out of her life. See pg. 41 of The Prince-iples of Texting to know what I mean here. If you make texting BORING for her she will never be able to let her guard down and the conversation will die out fast.

 

 

How to avoid Autopilot Texting:

1. Instead of texting her generic texts just to keep a conversation going, end the conversation smoothly and making you more favorable in her eyes.

Follow the Example given on pg. 43 of The Prince-iples of Texting. This establishes that you have passions and that you are a busy man. 

Now she will be WONDERING about what you're doing.  She will start to see you as a guy that has these interesting things in his life. The main point is: if you keep trying to force 'small talk' she wont see you as a guy with an interesting life. It is ALWAYS better to end the conversation than it is to try to force it with small talk. Use the easy to remember motto at the end of pg. 45 of The Prince-iples of Texting.

 

2. Text her something that taps into her feelings and emotions.

Women are emotional beings and want to talk about things that get her emotions engaged in the conversation.

Now again - you want to follow the other 4 Principles so you shouldn't be texting her constantly, but when you DO send a text, make it one that engages her emotions. Ask her things that make her feel POSITIVE emotions so that when she thinks of YOU, she immediately links all these POSITIVE emotions with you and your conversation.

Instead of asking her:  "What do you do for work?" A much better text would be:  "What is your #1 favorite thing about your job?"

Do you see the difference?

You are asking very similar things but the first example was bland, and something she has been asked a million times already.The second example gives her the chance to actually THINK about your question, THINK about what it is that she loves about her job, and then she will start to associate your conversation with POSITIVE feelings. Turn to pgs. 45 & 46 of The Prince-iples of Texting for what these type of texts look like. 

 

3. Save some for the date

A lot of guys will get a girls number or match with a girl online and immediately resort to the same Autopilot questions to "get to know each other". In today's dating world, with online dating apps, this can become extremely repetitive for women who have lots of men messaging her.

By Autopilot Texting, you will either bore her so much that she stops talking to you and you never end up hanging out OR you finally hang out and have nothing left to talk about. Pg. 41 of The Prince-iples of Texting explains why this 'fluff' is so unattractive.

The more you tell her about yourself, the less intriguing you become. The less curious she is. So if you follow #'s 1 and 2 above you can build her curiosity and her intrigue rather than destroying it. This will make her want to hangout with you more. 

 

 

Here's what you can do to start, right now:

Stop sending "Fluff" (see pg. 40 of The Prince-iples of Texting for my definition of 'fluff'). Replace the Autopilot Texting in your life with the passions you have in your life. Your passion could be your family, your kids, your job, sports, video games, hiking, camping, movies, dogs, animals, food, guns, weightlifting, etc. etc.

Whatever it is... make it a rule that from now any time you feel the need to "Fluff" text in a new relationship, you instead replace that time with your passion. 

And politely tell her you are doing this. This helps your cause. Women love men that have passion for something because it connects their own emotions and feelings of passion. 

Here are some examples of "Fluff" texts:

  • Hi
  • How are you?
  • How was your day?
  • What's up?
  • You up
  • How's it going?
  • Hey
  • Howdy
  • Hey there
  • What are you doing?
  • What are you up to tonight/today/this weekend?
  • Where do you work?
  • What did you study?
  • What's your favorite color?
  • Where are you from?
  • When did you graduate?
  • How long have you been single
  • Good night
  • Good morning
  • Good afternoon

Remember, some of these probably sound like perfectly fine texts to send a woman. That's true in longer relationships built with more trust and understanding than a new relationship. In a new relationship, these types of messages do not aid you in achieving the goal of hanging out with her.

So don't send them. Save them for another day and replace them as I did in the examples on pgs.42, 45 & 46 of The Prince-iples of Texting. 

 

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