The Woman I Like Is Way Out of My League
We have all met that woman that makes us doubt our own confidence.
It isn't that she does this on purpose.
It is more that she is one of those women that is the total package.
The kind of woman you would brag to your friends about.
The kind of woman you would actually consider to put your favorite video game on pause for whenever she wanted to chat (that's a special woman right there).
*NOTE* even though you may WANT to put your game on pause with her, you SHOULDN'T do it, but you get the idea
Todays blog is going to be in response from an e-mail question I received this morning.
(e-mail me if you have questions about dating, texting, confidence, etc [email protected])
"I just started speaking to a girl, probably about a month and a half ago or so. She is truly amazing, the kind you'd want to take home to your parents. She's also way out of my league, but for some reason, she likes me. I want to make sure that I can keep this relationship going, but I am afraid that things will fizzle out, and that's the last thing that I want to happen."
The first thing I did was ask WHAT it is that makes him feel that she is out of his league?
If you are in this situation, always try to figure out WHY you are feeling this way first. Here is how he replied.
"I used to be a smaller guy, strictly speaking about my weight. I've been slowly taking it off, but it still messes with my confidence. This woman is a solid 10 in my eyes, and as reassuring as she is, I know I don't look the best. I know looks aren't everything, but they do matter. I just have a hard time believing someone like her can want someone like me, and it honestly scares the sh*t out of me."
Okay we definitely can work with this. The first step was this guy figured out WHAT was making him feel this way (his weight) and WHY (because he feels he doesn't look as good as he should).
Perfect. The first step is the hardest (facing what it is that is getting you down), now we can have some fun trying to make this easier for him to get past.
Well the first thing you should know is that ALL men have insecurities whether it is weight/confidence/job security/etc so it is very common to have feelings like this. I used to be insecure about my big nose. I also used to be insecure about my braces (I had braces for the first two years of college).
So how do you get past them?
One thing that helped me was to realize that women have just as many insecurities as us men do.
Even the ones that you think are flawless, they have their own doubts about themselves.
This is why the 'negging' thing you may have heard of can work (basically you make fun of a girl and make her feel insecure so that she ends up liking you more since she feels bad about herself).
I really DON'T like that approach of making someone feel worse so that you feel better, so I never suggest making her feel bad, but it is good to know that SHE also has insecurities and may be thinking the exact same thing about you (ah why does HE like me).
The great thing about women:
Is that all you have to do is have a VISION of what you want, you don't have to actually accomplish your vision yet.
So if you are doing work to lose that weight, in her mind, you have already lost that weight.
As long as your goal and vision are there and you are working on watching what you eat or exercising more, then to her, that is already taken care of.
The weight is a non-issue.
So if you can feel confident about the progress you are making, this weight thing 100% will NOT be an issue with her.
If you are being insecure about your weight and telling her about it or letting that show, then it may become an issue.
How do you give her what she wants?
Women want a man that makes her feel safe and secure. That just means that if YOU as the man are feeling secure about where your life is at and where it is going, SHE will feel secure with you.
If you are feeling insecure about your life (or your body) then SHE will feel insecure about something in your relationship.
As a man you are the leader.
What you put out there is what you will receive back from the women in your life.
They will reflect back to you how you feel about yourself.
It is a BEAUTIFUL thing because you always set the tone.
And if you are having a hard time 'leading' with women, I breakdown all about WHY leadership is so important and how you can display that through your texting conversations to make a woman feel like she wants to submit to you and your leadership. This is all broken down in LEVEL 11 of Texting School.
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