Fear of Rejection is Hurting Your Confidence
Rejection happens to us all at some point in our lives. How we respond to rejection is what separates a man from a boy. To lose your fear of rejection, it helps to take a new viewpoint on what 'rejection' really is.
Rejection will either put fear into your dating life, or it will open you up to new possibilities you never dreamed of. Rejection will destroy your confidence with women... or it will grow your confidence.
Again - it depends how you choose to look at it.
Let me start off with a silly example to help shape a new viewpoint on rejection.
When you were 8 years old and you wanted an ice cream cone, you would ask your parents if you could get one.
If they said no? It was definitely a rejection. You wanted to have something, you asked for it, and the answer was no. That is rejection.
Or is it?
What if you were to ask your parents for an ice cream cone today. If they said no would you feel rejected for not getting your ice cream cone? Would you throw a temper tantrum in the middle of the grocery store like you may have when you were just a kid?
No. You would probably realize that if you wanted one bad enough, you could find a way to get one yourself. Then you would weigh how much you actually want to go and get that ice cream cone. If you decide it’s not worth the hassle, you move on with your life.
You are able to do this because you took responsibility of the situation. You knew that if you actually wanted an ice cream cone bad enough, you could find a way. Since you were able to experience that and make the choice on your own, you were okay letting it go because it wasn’t worth your effort.
Okay now to dating… keep that little story in the back of your mind though.
If you approach a woman and try to talk to her and she ignores you or gives you the cold shoulder, what is your first thought? Take a moment to stop and reflect on that…
Here is how I handle that situation. My first thought is:
“Well, she is missing out, if she actually knew me, she would be interested”.
That makes me feel much better about the situation.
If that doesn’t work to help me feel more at ease with the 'rejection', I ask myself what could I have done differently to get a better result next time? Maybe I came on too strong. Maybe I didn’t do my job of reading her body language. Maybe I could have been more empathetic to how she was feeling in that environment and situation.
But that is the simple key to build your confidence… taking responsibility of the situation.
Something magic starts to happen as soon as you swallow your pride and take responsibility for the outcome. When you do this, YOU now have a roadmap to fix it. YOU now have learned to think of the situation in a new light. YOU now have information that will help you in the future.
It is not only a healthier way to deal with rejection, but also a much more fun one than playing the ‘victim’. I challenge you to try to frame your next 'rejection' in a similar way... just notice how it feels when you learn that you have more control over outcomes than you may have thought.
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